Rose City Story Night V

Bring A Mask for the Smoke Show

Rose City Story Night V

Where: Rose City Book Pub

When: Friday, May 3rd, 7:00 PM

This time with a new host: Krissy Eliot

Okay, co-host. I’m not ready to give up my throne on the mic just yet. But Krissy has come to help. And maybe sometimes we’ll trade nights.

I’m a good host. I listen to everyone’s stories, and whenever a writer leaves their home for this, I make it a point that they get their applause.¹

I’m not getting paid and I’m not getting laid for this.

So imagine my surprise when Krissy offered her help. Krissy Eliot, shares DNA with T.S. Eliot; Krissy Eliot, my arch-nemesis at Chuck Palahniuk’s Hindsight Story Night. Even my parents² like Krissy more than me. Krissy Eliot, who’s gotten to grace the stage at Revolution Hall, and not in a kangaroo costume, Krissy Eliot.

Krissy Eliot, who gets paid and laid a lot.

Don’t get confused—she’s not a whore.

She just does what we wish we could.

I warned her: “Krissy, you’re slumming it.”

I said, “Krissy, this is a party for the weird kids who weren’t invited to parties.”

“Krissy,” I said, “are you sure?”

Krissy Eliot, who is someday going to have the things that aspiring writers dream of: a book, a husband, and a house. Krissy, who we have to hide from some people because it’s absolutely unfair that she can be this talented and a literal model, thus she always has a target on her back, this is what she said:

“Fuck it, sounds fun.”

So come on out. You won’t get paid and you won’t get laid, but you’ll cut your teeth on the microphone, and do something so many authors at Powell’s never do:

Entertain.

Plus, if you can make Krissy laugh, you’ll be getting paid and laid soon enough.

Until next time,

Colton Merris

1. Notice that, for my qualifications of being a “good host,” I listed the bare minimum?

2. True story. My parents came to Chuck’s final Hindsight Story Night. A couple days later I talked to my dad on the phone. I asked him what he thought of the reading, and he said, “You’re third. I liked Missy Eliot and the guy with the sex-car best.”